How to Forgive When They Are Not Sorry

Introduction

Forgiveness is one of the most challenging yet liberating acts we can undertake. It becomes
even harder when the person who wronged us shows no remorse. But in Islam, forgiveness is
a highly valued virtue that brings spiritual peace and draws us closer to Allah. This article
explores how to forgive others even when they are not sorry, with insights from the Quran,
hadiths, and practical advice.

The Islamic Perspective on Forgiveness
Forgiveness holds a central place in Islam. Allah repeatedly emphasizes its importance in the
Quran. For instance, in Surah Al-A’raf, Allah advises:

“Show forgiveness, enjoin what is good, and turn away from the ignorant.” (Quran 7:199)

This verse reminds us that forgiving others is not dependent on their actions but on our
commitment to embodying good character.

The Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) set the ultimate example of forgiveness. Despite enduring
immense persecution in Makkah, he forgave his enemies during the conquest of Makkah,
saying, “Go, for you are free.” (Sunan Al-Kubra, Hadith 8593). This act of mercy teaches us
to rise above personal grievances for the sake of greater spiritual growth.

Understanding What Forgiveness Means
Forgiveness does not mean excusing harmful behavior or denying justice. Instead, it is a
conscious decision to let go of resentment and entrust the matter to Allah. By forgiving, you
free yourself from the burden of anger and allow your heart to heal.

Steps to Forgive Someone Who Isn’t Sorry
Here are practical steps to help you forgive, inspired by Islamic teachings:

1. 1. Acknowledge Your Feelings
      It’s normal to feel hurt or angry. Acknowledge these emotions instead of suppressing
      them. This is the first step toward healing.

1. 1. Seek Help from Allah
      Make dua, asking Allah to soften your heart and guide you. The Prophet Muhammad
      (ﷺ) often prayed, “O Allah, purify my heart from hypocrisy and my actions from
      showing off.” (Sunan An-Nasa’i, Hadith 3334).

1. 1. Reflect on the Rewards of Forgiveness
      Allah promises immense rewards for those who forgive. In Surah Ash-Shura, He says:
      “But if you pardon and overlook and forgive—then indeed, Allah is Forgiving
      and Merciful.” (Quran 42:40)

1. 1. Practice Empathy

Try to understand the other person’s perspective. While this doesn’t excuse their
actions, it can help you let go of anger.

5. 5. Take Inspiration from Stories in the Quran
      One powerful example is the story of Prophet Yusuf (AS). Despite being betrayed by
      his brothers, Yusuf forgave them, saying:
      “No blame will there be upon you today. Allah will forgive you, and He is the
      most merciful of the merciful.” (Quran 12:92)

Overcoming Barriers to Forgiveness
It’s natural to face barriers to forgiveness, such as lingering anger or fear of appearing weak.
Remember that forgiveness is not about condoning wrong behavior but about freeing yourself
from the shackles of bitterness. Here are some ways to overcome these barriers:

Reframe Forgiveness as Strength
Forgiving someone takes immense courage and emotional strength. It is a testament to
your character and faith.
 Focus on Your Relationship with Allah
Forgiving others is ultimately an act of obedience to Allah. Trust that He will handle
the justice you seek.

Take Your Time
Forgiveness is a process. It’s okay if it takes time to fully let go of your resentment.

Conclusion
Forgiving someone who isn’t sorry can feel like an uphill battle, but it’s a journey worth
undertaking for the sake of your peace and spiritual growth. By following the teachings of the
Quran and the example of the Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ), you can find the strength to let go
of resentment and embrace forgiveness. Remember, when you forgive others, you are not
condoning their actions—you are freeing yourself and drawing closer to Allah. May Allah
guide us all to be among the forgiving and merciful. Ameen.